DOP Rises as 4G LTE tumbles to the valley in the only postseason play of the season
In what could be the greatest swing of momentum in the history of Good News Church Athletics, Dimes On Point is beginning their ascent to the top of the GNBA world. With the grit to grind out the tough games, confidence to come back when losing, and humility to curb any pride gained in blow out wins, DOP has the shaping of a championship team. 4G LTE’s avalanche of a tumble continued as their struggles on offense, but mostly on defense, were accentuated by the inside, dominant presence of one Sung Ho “Pass-tor Me the Ball” Lee.
Without further ado, the official video highlight reel courtesy of the GNBA Commissioner, John “JWOW” Choi.
Analysis of the three teams entering postseason play, with exclusive interviews, in-depth analysis, and plenty of basketball left to talk about.
This week in the GNBA was unlike any week prior. The final day to an action packed season filled with as much drama as a season of Real World. With the GNBA regular season coming to a close, we will be looking ahead to the coming matchups in the playoff and championship games.
But this week is not to be ignored.
With one last day to avoid absolute futility, the DimesOnPoint become the last and final team to pull off a 2-0 day. With 4G slipping in the standings, Beastmode holding steady to their top ranked spot, and DOP showing the life of a championship team, we dive into the highlights of the past week.
BEASTmode vs. DimesOnPoint
There is a reason why Beastmode was given it’s name: their captain put on a basketball display worthy of glass casings and complex laser security systems. Sir Beastmode Cho did a lot of the heavy lifting, putting up jumpshots, floaters, and slashing to the hoop in acrobatic and dramatic fashion. He was 100m ahead for MVP considerations in a 100m race. Then, Calvin showed up. DOP has shown resilience all season, which hadn’t translated into wins until today. Kwon was a huge reason why this team stayed in the game, hitting jumpshot after jumpshot. With the score tied at 30 apiece, Calvin rises up for the game winning shot, watching his hard work pay off in the form of a victory. He stole game MVP honors with the fantastic finish.
BEASTMODE vs. 4G LTE
In what was once perceived as the ultimate championship game, Beastmode showed the type of consistency a championship shows, why 4G wavered. With more bricks from deep than an Angry Birds game, 4G once again struggled to get going on the offensive end. Beastmode, with their plethora of offensive options, continued to ride the hot hand of Sir Cho, as they won handily over a struggling LTE. A loss of offensive identity seemed to be at the crux of LTE struggles..
4G LTE vs. DIMESONPOINT
A preview of the playoff round did not disappoint. The DOP’s came out strong, but the LTE’s showed rubber like resilience. A back and forth like two kids on a seesaw, neither team was ready to give into the other. A close game through out, Calvin continued his show of excellence, using well timed screens to find open shots, and using hard close outs by the LTE’s to break to the basket and get others involved. A scrappy battle of pure will and determination came down to the last 5 possessions. With LTE on top by 6 and at game point, DOP’s balanced three man attack brings it within game point, making it, once again, a 30 apiece game. With pressure building greater than brown rice in a cooker, DOP hits the game winning bucket in dramatic fashion, celebrating as LTE walked off the court, wondering what it needs to do to combat the stellar performance by DOP.
With the regular season at a close, we can look back at the roller coaster ride that was GNBA 2012. The only question that remains now is: WHO WILL BE THE CHAMPION?
Week 5 featured more of the same. Beast Mode came, saw, and conquered their way to yet another perfect week, locking up a spot in the championship round. Simply put, Beast Mode stalked into the wilderness and ravaged their prey. Because of potential younger viewers, the details are too graphic to post on this forum. Let’s just say if you weren’t there to witness the savagery, your soul and peace of mind are in a much better place… 4G LTE dropped both games for a second straight week, and they sorely missed the presence of their captain, Audrey’s Dad (Jon), and all around swingman, Chris Bosh (Jason). Without their speedsters, 4G LTE looked more like Dial Up 56K. Meanwhile Dime On Point continued to be mediocre. DOP’s mantra is: 1-1 feels a whole lot better than 0-2. DOP is still the only team to not taste a sweep.
3G vs Boast Mo… I mean 4G LTE vs Beast Mode
Beast Mode is known for playing uptempo basketball and running the opponent to the ground. However 4G attempted to even the playing field by strategically only showing up with three bodies which would by rule force the game to be played on a half court. Filling in for the captain, Audrey’s Dad, the Commish JWow Choi figured that a slower half-court game would neutralize the speed of the beast pack and their three headed scoring attack led by the Wolf (Eli), the Fox (Dave Choi), and the Hyena (Juwang). Squirtle (Dave Park) and Kunzilla (KunHan) listened to JWow’s plan and saw that it was good. Sure enough, the Wolf, Fox, and Hyena had less room to operate and had trouble finding any kind of rhythm. This pleased 4G, and so far the plan was working and they saw that it was good. Then out of a small burrow came scampering on to the court what looked like a squirrel… no a guinea pig…. No… it was the fourth member of the Beast Mode, the Ferret (Mike Kim). Not known for his scoring, the Ferret sensed that his assistance was needed. What happened from that point on was simply… dirty… The Ferret could BALL. This Ferret was draining shots from all over the place. It was like he was playing a game of “Around the World” except that he went around the world five times. Game… Beast Mode.
MVP: needless to say, the Ferret
4G LTE vs Dime On Point
DOP knew that it was going to get one angry 4G team the next game. While 4G regrouped and rehydrated, DOP seemed rather nervous. There really was no reason to be nervous though. I mean DOP’s captain, Samson and Delilah(Sam) provided his team with Vita Coco Water infused with Pineapple which you can purchase in a case of 12 on Amazon for around $20 which is an incredible bargain when you consider that each one costs around $2.50 individually. So clearly hydration was not the issue. Could it be preparation? Steve Lee, the Jalapeño, was running the layup drill and reminding the team of essential strategies. So that couldn’t be it. With about two minutes left before the start of the game, DOP realized that their best player, “The Right Hand” (Pastor Sungho) was still nowhere to be seen. Dejected and somewhat mentally defeated, Jalapeño, the Calculator (Calvin) and Darkness (Dave Mo) took the court. Kunzilla feasted on the inside while Squirtle and JWow maintained the elbows. After a hard fought first half, DOP held a small lead. Then all of a sudden, he appeared in majestic short shorts, a farmer’s tan and glasses. The Right Hand had arrived. He simply looked at his team and said a few short words, “I need to put on my ankle brace”. He was inserted into the lineup right away and The Right Hand went to work. Justice was served.
MVP: The Right Hand
Dime On Point vs Beast Mode
This game was… boring. The game was chippy and aggressive to say the least. With the score still in the low teens, nearly 20 of the 30 game minutes had already passed. The Fox paced his pack on both ends of the court and the Calculator kept adding to his already impressive field goal percentage for the afternoon. Of course in a game like this, there is always a battle within the battle. The Wolf and The Right hand were BATTLING yall. DOP made a few runs to make the game close, but Beast Mode flexed their muscles to victory. Like I said, this game was not the most exciting game.
MVP: The Fox
With only one more week left in the regular season, it is already determined that DOP and 4G will meet in the first round of the playoffs for a shot against Beast Mode for the title. Will 4G ever have their full squad? Will DOP put it all together in time for the playoffs? Will we see the Ferret again?? Will GNBA have Vita Coco on their jerseys next season?? Stay tuned as we fast approach the thrilling conclusion!
BEASTMODE!!!!!! The cheers reverberated inside Pine Ridge Park, as Beastmode ran away from the competition like Usain Bolt in the 100m. The sheer will and determination was evident in their play. However, even after four weeks of intense league play, they However, every team is only a game apart, and with only several weeks remaining, nails will be bitten, nerves will be nervous, and a champion will be crowned.
Beastmode vs. 4G LTE
The return of Kun-han “The Notorious K.U.N” Lee sparked a renewed determination to assume their dominant place in the GNBA. However, the LTE’s fell flat on their face faster than a Wyle E Coyote Looney Toons special, as they fell to an early deficit going into halftime. Beastmode, with their slashing and cutting, dashed their way through the defense, exploiting late rotations and miscommunications on defense with a plethora of miscues on offense, where the LTE’s found themselves searching for a jumpshot like Velma for her glasses. In a brutal loss, the LTE’s found themselves in an unsual predicament, missing easy forays at the basket. Their play was highlighted by several crisp passes from the Captain himself, but mostly found iron as Beastmode closed out the game with a victory.
4G LTE vs. DimesOnPoint
If you blinked, or sneezed, or did anything that required a split second of eye-shutting, then you missed the first half of this contest. Coupled with continued struggles on offense, and a Southeast Asian Monsoon of jumpshots, LTE found themselves down 16-0, in what is the most lopsided first half in leauge history. DOP kept on coming, with constant switched on defense to pester LTE, and the few open looks that LTE got hit iron, as DOP cruised to a victory in the second game. LTE was finished for the day, left in disbelief.
DimesOnPoint vs. Beastmode
A game that already has a championship feel to it, Beastmode entered the game with sky-high confidence. Juwang “Shoot the Jay” Lee showed the type of dedication and determination on the defensive end that utterly shuts down opponents, and the type of offensive dominance in the paint that leaves the competition in his fiery wake, erupting as the inside presence Eli “HulkMode” Cho drafted him for. DOP kept the game close, but were overwhelmed with constant pressure in the paint, as Beastmode ran away with the victory, and the weekend, proving once again, why they were so dominant at the start of this season.
With the season closing in on the second half of it’s season, the race to the number one spot is still a close one, as every team is one game behind the team ahead of them in the standings. Regardless of the standings, the bond and fellowship that have been growing as a result of this season cannot be captured by box scores or victories. You can see it in the way the players push one another to make not just the team better, but the individuals better as well. Incredible to see just how much the brothers have grown through this experience, and encouraging to see competition in the light of the Gospel.
Let me preface this by saying that everything mentioned in my articles is meant for fun and
all jokes are just that, jokes. Now that I got the league mandated disclaimer out of the way,
welcome to my personal Wamcave where the observations are serious, the comments are
brutally honest, and the recaps are borderline discouraging. The GNBA is already approaching
its fourth week and there are a few things I would like to get off my chest in a little game of
FACT or FICTION.
1. Jon Paek aka “Hype” is human… FICTION!
Cmon now you expect me to believe that this guy is human?? I’ve fallen for a lot of things in my
lifetime… I believed that Hanson was a hot girl band for years! I believed my mom when she
told me to avoid dark sodas because it would literally “darken” my insides. As a child I believed
my dad when he told me that I needed to lose weight or God wouldn’t be able to lift me into
Heaven…. and NOW this guy Hype shows up to ball with a baby in one arm, a shoulder so
heavily wrapped that it looks bionic, and scars all over his body which are clearly incisions from
surgeries in which he’s had adamantium steel installed. Nice try mister. You might have fooled
everyone else with your oxygen breathing and occasional yelps of pain, but not me… not this
2. Being good at basketball is all about practice and heart… FICTION!
Haha this one makes me chuckle a little because of how misguided people are on this topic.
Every true baller knows that the key to success 90% GEAR, yes the laundry my friends.
Are your kicks, sick? If yes, higher the altitude. Are the colors matching? If so, confidence is
peaking. How about accessories (bands, sleeves, etc)? More, the better. So remember fellas, if
you wanna maximize your potential, don’t forget to GEAR up:
3. There is a book ON Eli… FACT!
“Wow Eli’s game is straight up ELIgal“ – Calvin Kwon
“Eli… nice guy” – David Mo
“The guy is a locomotive, a BEAST. omg he’s the Asian Lebron James! AHH” – Steve Lee
“ ‘Pray continually’, 1 Thessalonians 5:17” – Pastor Sungho
When I asked my team what they thought about Eli’s game, these were the responses I
received. Yeah he’s pretty good, BUT I now reveal to the world the secret to his game. It’s
quite simple folks and when I figured it out, I was rather upset that it had taken me so long to
stumble upon this obvious discovery.
Complete this analogy: Tony Starks is to electromagnet chest piece AS Eli Cho is to _________________.
That’s right, if you guessed the headband that looks like a 5th grade paper machete volcano
project, then you are CORRECT! Though aesthetically repulsive, each handcrafted headband
is somehow equipped with supernatural sweat absorption technology which is obviously
enhancing his performance. The Book on Eli is to eliminate and destroy the headpiece.
4. Commish John Choi performs better in the presence of his girlfriend… FACT!
John played like an all star last Sunday. John was informed by his teammates that Junghae
(his gf) was secretly observing with binoculars from the picnic tables as to avoid the intense
rays of the sun. (She was actually eating lunch with the girls). Nearly brought to tears by what
he thought was her decision to root on her man over having fellowship with the ladies, John
played the best basketball of his life. Then she showed up a few hours later…
My team is currently in last place, sitting at 1 – 5. The other two teams are tied for the best
record. With that I would like to leave yall with this: In the words of Jesus Christ our Lord and
Savior, Alpha and Omega, King of Kings, the one who has authored ALL things….
“So the last will be first, and the first last” =)